Pumpkin Problems!
by L1701E
Summary: Chapter 10 up! The West Coast Misfits encounter insanity with pumpkins! Next: The wild night comes to an end! Read and review please! Suggestions needed badly!
1. In the Beginning

**Pumpkin Problems**

**Hello, folks! L1701E here! I present to you, my latest West Coast Misfit adventure! Basically, our heroes run into some problems when they try to have themselves some nice Halloween fun!**

**Disclaimer: All Characters belong to me, Red Witch, Hasbro, Marvel Comics, and/or others. And here's your quote: "CATFIGHT! CATFIIIIGHT!" – Joey Styles, the voice of ECW.**

Chapter 1: In the Beginning…!

**Malibu** **Base**

Malibu Base. The headquarters of the West Coast Misfits, America's premier west coast-based superteam. The West Coast Misfits' roster composed of young mutants from around the world with a diverse array of powers and personalities. And two of those personalities were duking it out in front of the TV.

"Hey, gimme the remote, jabroni!" A Boston-accented voice snapped, the source tugging at the remote. Kyle Wildfire was a young mutant from Boston, Massachusetts. Despite his being the youngest of the team, he was one of the team powerhouses thanks to his mutant ability to generate and manipulate electricity, earning him the codename Thunderbolt. "The Thunderbolt wants to watch the Malibu Wrestling Federation's October Bloodbath!"

"No! I wish to watch the Charlie Brown Halloween special!" The other voice, holding a Japanese accent, snapped back, tugging at the remote. It belonged to a boy in his mid-teens. His name was Toshi Yoshida, a Japanese mutant who had the powers of flight and the ability to generate superheated plasma. His codename was Sunfire.

"You don't even _like_ Charlie Brown!" Kyle snapped, tugging at the remote.

"And they'll play the Bloodbath all day!" Toshi countered, giving the remote a harder tug. "You can watch it after this!" The two's arguing can be heard in the kitchen, where a couple other members of the West Coast Misfits were working on some other projects.

"Hunh…" Rahne Sinclair, the Scottish mutant lycanthrope codenamed Wolfsbane sighed. She was sitting at the kitchen table. Newspapers were covering the tabletop. The redhaired mutant was sketching on a pumpkin. "They're at it again." She turned towards another mutant that was sitting at the table. Thomas Sharpe was an Australian mutant with a shark-based mutation, and the ability to spit streams of supercooled water. He was codenamed Chilljaw. And he happened to be engaged in one of his favorite hobbies: Eating.

"Huh?" Tommy looked from his sandwich.

"I said, they're at it again." Rahne repeated, pointing at the living room with her thumb. Tommy shrugged.

"Ah, don't worry about it, Sheila." Tommy chuckled, waving it off. "Let those two galahs duke it out. When it comes to those two, it's best to just let them duke it out until they either get tired or bored. Besides, last time Theresa did, her head got intimate with a bookcase." Rahne nodded.

"Oh right. Poor girl still has a headache from it." Rahne nodded. "I feel bad for Ali and Longshot, though. Their double date with the Toad and Wavedancer didn't turn out too well." Tommy shrugged again.

"I don't know. I personally don't think it was that bad. From what I heard, the only problem that they really encountered was that clown Magma." Tommy grinned.

"Oh yeah, I heard about that." Rahne chuckled. "I talked tae the X-Men about it. Amara Aquilla found out about him, and she, as the Americans say, went postal." Tommy laughed.

"Oh man, I can only imagine what Amara is like when she goes mad." Tommy chuckled.

"It's nae pretty, Tommy." Rahne shook her head. "One time, when I was with the X-Men, Roberto accidentally doused her in green paint. She went ballistic, and Roberto found himself nearly discovering what lava tasted like."

"Eugh." Tommy winced. "Man, remind me never to hack that Sheila off."

"Aye." Rahne agreed. "It's one of the Golden Rules of the Institute. One: Never touch Mr. Logan's beer without his permission. Two: Never mess with the flowers in Miss Munroe's garden, and Three: Never anger Amara."

"I get the feeling the first two get broken a lot." Tommy frowned.

"Yes. By Shipwreck, mostly." Rahne agreed. "Okay, does this look good to ye?" The redhead turned the pumpkin, revealing that she had sketched a classic Jack o' Lantern face design. "This is the design I'm going tae cut out o' the pumpkin." Tommy frowned slightly.

"Little old-fashioned, ain't it?" Tommy blinked. Rahne blinked at the face.

"It's a classic, Tommy. It's worked for years."

"Yeah, but I went into town today." Tommy countered. "I saw all these Jack o' Lanterns on display in town, and you won't believe some of the designs on them."

"Oh, I heard about that." Rahne remembered. "What're they trying tae do? Go for a record or something?"

"Uh-huh." Tommy confirmed with a nod. "Malibu's going for a world record or something." **(1)**

"They've never done it, huh?" Rahne noticed. Tommy shook his head.

"Malibu ain't in the record book for that yet, Sheila." Tommy replied, shaking his head. The two young mutants heard the door open and close. They looked up and noticed a blonde woman walk in, carrying a paper bag filled with smaller multi-colored bags. "Hey there, Kicker."

"Hey, guys." The blonde smiled, placing the bag on the counter.

"What's in the bag?" Tommy pointed at it.

"Oh, various candy for any trick-or-treaters." Kicker grinned.

"Better make sure that Jester doesn't find any of it." Rahne warned. "We already have to lock up the vending machines around here because of that sweet tooth of his."

"Oh, remember the last time Jester got hyped up on candy?" Tommy laughed.

"Oh yeah." Rahne chuckled. "Poor Hardcase is still digging the shaving cream out from his jeep." A thunk was heard on the window from outside. The three turned around and saw the dark-haired Air Force pranking pilot codenamed Jester standing at the window. "Hi, Jester!" Rahne greeted with a wave.

"Hey guys!" He waved back. "Hey, my sweet tooth is tingling. Do you guys have candy?"

"Go away, Jester!" Kicker warned, shoving the candy in the cupboard. "This candy is not for you!"

"Oh pleeeeeeease!" Jester begged. "Please please please please!"

"No! Don't make me take the hose to you again!" Kicker snapped.

"Oh come on, Kicker!" Jester begged. "Just one piece! I'll be good! I'll water the garden! I'll peel all the spuds in the mess hall! Just one piece of candy!"

"No, Jester." Kicker sighed. "If I give you one, you'll come back for more. You always do."

"Come on!" Jester pouted. "I let you have all the kielbasa at the big Joe cookout!"

"Because he knew she'd kill him if he didn't." Rahne whispered to Tommy, causing both teens to snicker.

"Jester, don't you have someone to bother?" Kicker sighed.

"Actually, I've been trying to get Dial-Up to go with me to the costume contest over at the mall today. I want to go as Raggedy Andy and her as Raggedy Ann." Jester sighed. "But so far, all she's given me is the metaphorical pie in the face."

"Maybe you should dress up as Rodney Dangerfield." Kicker joked. "Because Dial-Up will never give you any respect." Rahne and Tommy burst out laughing at that.

"That's a good one!" Tommy gave a thumbs up.

"Ahhh, I get no respect." Jester pouted. "Anyway, can I have candy?" Kicker sighed.

"No, Jester." Kicker sighed, pulling up the kitchen sink's hose. "Instead, I'll give you a drink." She pulled up the window and sprayed Jester with the hose.

"Hey! Agh! I already took a shower today! Come on! Bleah!" Jester waved his arms.

"Maybe she's tryin' tae say ye missed a few spots." Rahne giggled.

"Not funny, man! Not cool! Not cool!" Jester exclaimed. An explosion was heard from the living room.

"AGH! JABRONI! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE WALL?" Kyle yelled.

"WHY DID YOU DUCK?" Toshi yelled back.

"Man, those two must really enjoy KP duty or something." Tommy shook his head.

Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are going to have themselves another fun adventure! What insanity will happen next? Will our heroes face off against any villains? Will there be explosions? Will Jester ever get Dial-Up to go to the costume contest with him? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!

**(1) – This is something my hometown tries to do every year. They have all the people in town make pumpkins and try to break the world record for the most pumpkins on display or something.**


	2. Meet the Villain!

**Pumpkin Problems**

**Disclaimer: "Wow! That's a pretty good nose job!" – Mr. Garrison, _South_ _Park_**

Chapter 2: Meet the Villain!

**Malibu** **Base**

The West Coast Misfit Manor's kitchen was quiet, a rarity in a house full of insane soldiers and teenage mutants. Two Malibu Joes were peeking into the kitchen via a window. One was Jester, a fighter pilot with a talent for jokes and pranking, and the other was a blond, bearded Joe wearing a green helmet and uniform. He was codenamed Rock 'n' Roll.

"Dude, I'm telling you again, I don't think this is a good idea." Rock 'n' Roll frowned at Jester. The dark-haired pilot laughed.

"Relax, you big baby." Jester chuckled as he slowly jimmied the window open. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"Jester, Kicker is not stupid." Rock 'n' Roll warned. "She wouldn't simply just leave several bags of candy in a cupboard, knowing about your sweet tooth. She's got something planned. I just know it."

"Oh, please." Jester laughed.

"I'm serious, man." Rock 'n' Roll warned. "Kicker is a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them. She is not only aware of you, but she also lives with a bunch of hyperactive mutant teenagers." He started to shudder. "She also knows ninja stuff, man. She can come out of nowhere, and kill you in twenty ways before you even hit the ground."

"Rock 'n' Roll, I never knew you to be so freakin' paranoid, man." Jester laughed. "Kicker's a pussycat."

"A pussycat who once beat the snot out of a loony surfer who kidnapped her because he mistook her for Pamela Anderson." Rock 'n' Roll reminded, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, but I'm not an insane surfer, and I am capable of telling the difference between Kicker and Pamela Anderson." Jester grinned. "Kicker's never posed in Playboy."

"Oh, Quick-Kick would _love_ that." Rock 'n' Roll snickered. "But seriously, don't you think you're taking a big risk here? Who knows what Kicker has got rigged up in there? Ninjas are good at rigging traps, you know."

"Amber never got trained in that ninja stuff. She's trained in silent weapons, like Quick-Kick." Jester reminded.

"Jester, a ninja _is_ a silent weapon." Rock 'n' Roll shot back. "Besides, Quick-Kick has been known to hang around with the ninjas on occasions. How do we know that he and Kicker didn't pick up a few tricks?"

"You're paranoid, man." Jester shook his head as he carefully climbed into the kitchen.

"This will not end well." Rock 'n' Roll winced as he watched Jester carefully creep across the kitchen, looking around. The pilot grinned when he reached the cupboard. His grin grew wider when he carefully opened it and saw the candy inside. He reached inside, and…

_**SNAP!**_

"Ay carumba!" Rock 'n' Roll winced.

"_AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!_" Jester screamed as he quickly pulled his hand out. His hand revealed that his hand was caught in a mousetrap. "OW OW OW OW!" He started leaping up and down and running around the kitchen, screaming in pain.

"I knew that she'd have a trap laid." Rock 'n' Roll winced. A smirking Kicker emerged from her hiding place behind the fridge.

"Well, I hope you learned your lesson, Jester." Kicker smirked at the pained pilot. "Maybe now you'll leave the candy alone." She turned her head towards Rock 'n' Roll, a sweet smile on her face. "I'm sure you'll help him with that, won't you, Rock 'n' Roll?" The machine gunner's eyes widened and he ran off. Jester glared at the blonde. "Oh relax, Jester. I just hope you learned your lesson." The pilot narrowed his eyes at the blonde martial artist.

"You do realize, my dear Kicker, that this means war." Jester glared.

"Bring it on, Bugs Bunny." Kicker teased.

**The Vault**

The Vault was a prison especially designed for superhuman criminals. Those that fought the likes of the Fantastic Four, the Avengers, and even the X-Men and Misfits, ended up serving time here. Walking down one of the halls were two guards, clad in green Iron Man-like armor. They were Guardsmen, specially trained-and-equipped prison guards.

"Okay, and who we got in this cell, Mitch?" One Guardsman asked the other. The second Guardsman, Mitch, looked at a clipboard.

"Oh, this guy is good for a laugh, Bill." The second Guardsman answered. "Samuel Smithers. Plantman. Born in London, he has the power to control plants."

"Plants, huh?" Mitch chuckled. "I've heard of controlling fire, water, air, lightning, earth, and even magnetic fields, but _plants?_"

"Why not, Bill? It's possible." Mitch shrugged. "Says here he's a Londoner. He got his powers when lightning struck a gadget that he was working on. Says here that he was working on theories about the intelligence of plants."

"You know, if I had a bouquet of smart roses, I'd really score points with my wife." Bill chuckled.

"It also said in his file that the gadget really screwed up his head." Mitch remembered. "Made him believe that plants talk to him and stuff." The Guardsman started to chuckle. "Even if plants _could_ talk, what do you think they would say?"

"Oh, I know this! I so know this!" Bill grinned. "…_Feed me…Feeeed me…_" The two Guardsmen started to laugh.

"Heh heh, yeah." Mitch snickered. "I take it you liked the movie."

"Steve Martin and Rick Moranis proved to be comedy gods with that one." Bill agreed. "Plus, you had to like that song Steve Martin's character did! _You'll be a dennnntiiiist…_"

"We gotta check on the prisoner, pal." Mitch reminded.

"Oh yeah." Bill snickered. He looked through the window of the cell door. He saw a man dressed in a green-and-brown costume that had an emblem of a vine on the chest. His short brown hair was shown and his face was masked by a green domino mask. He was reading a book called _Gardening for Dummies._ "You know, now that I think about it, he doesn't seem so bad. He's just sitting there."

"Trust me, man. I've heard things." Mitch shook his head. "He's battled Spider-Man and the Human Torch. They say he's nasty. And one powerful mother." He noticed something through the cell window. "Hey Bill, what's happening to the plant guy over there?"

"Huh?" Bill turned around. "He noticed Plantman had dropped his book and started to shake. "What the-?" He decomposed into mulch right in front of the two Guardsmen's eyes. "Oh my God!"

"It must've been one of those plant simulacrums he can make!" Mitch realized. "Aw God! That means he's still on the loose! And who knows where in the name of all that's holy he is now?"

**Bayville**

"Ahhh…" Senator Kelly smiled as he walked through a room in his mansion. "What a lovely day." He walked out to a balcony on his mansion. "Ah, look at that October weather…brisk…" He smiled. "No snow quite yet…leaves changing color…Ahhh…it's so wonderful…"

"Hey Kelly!" Someone yelled from the ground.

"What?" Senator Kelly looked down, and he suddenly found himself pelted with eggs and toilet paper. "Hey! Agh! What're you OW! That hurts! Hey that's my eye! You nearly broke my glasses! Stop it! HELP! Agh! These eggs are rotten! That's sick! Ewww!"

Well, well, well! Looks like our villain is in place! What madness will happen next? Will Plantman ruin Halloween? Will costumes be worn? And will Kelly get hit by more rotten eggs? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	3. Carving Craziness!

**Pumpkin Problems**

**Disclaimer: "You know how I feel about hoaxes!" – Marge Simpson, _The_ _Simpsons_**

Chapter 3: Carving Craziness!

**A skyscraper over Malibu**

A figure stood on top of a skyscraper, over-looking the sun-drenched California city. He was dressed in a dark green costume with brown on the legs and arms. The costume also had on dark green upper arm-length gloves and boots, as well as an emblem of a green leaf in a white circle. Rings of light green leaves went around the shoulders, and the tops of the gloves and boots. The man's costume also had a dark green cowl that left his chin and mouth exposed, with green "leaves" around the eyes. The gloves had silver metal bands that went around the waist and had green lights on them.

"Good thing I decided to get myself a new costume made." The man grinned to himself. "The old one was getting tiresome." He looked down at the city. "What a sad city. Made of cold, hard unforgiving steel. None of the gentle beauty of nature. And at this time of year, many an innocent pumpkin gets slaughtered just so the people here can have cute little decorations for Halloween! Well, they'll never need to cower anymore, because the Plantman will make sure the humans will learn their lesson to never bully around-!"

"Hey!" A voice interrupted the plant-controller's tirade.

"Huh?" Plantman turned around and saw a security guard standing at the stairwell leading to the ceiling.

"Who are you?" The guard snapped. "How did you get here?"

"Uh…I know the owner of the building?" Plantman grinned innocently.

"Hold it right there, pal!" The guard ran towards him.

"Uh oh!" Plantman ran towards the edge of the building.

"Hey! No! Don't do it!" The guard yelled, trying to catch up to the plant-manipulator. "Don't jump, man! You still got plenty to live for!"

"Yi!" Plantman leapt off the edge of the building.

"NO!" The guard yelled. He peeked over the edge. "Oh my God!" He whipped out his walkie-talkie. "I need backup at the front! Man jumped off the building!"

**West Coast Misfit Manor, Malibu Base**

Jester put a ladder up next to the wall of West Coast Misfit Manor. The gray-suited dark-haired fighter pilot carefully climbed up the ladder.

"Heh heh." He snickered to himself. "Jerry Mahoney, you are a genius. Nobody would expect yours truly to sneak in through the top floor, heh heh." He got up to a top floor window, when he noticed a smiling Kicker leaning at the window, head in her hand, and elbow on the sill.

"Hi, Jester." Kicker greeted sweetly.

"Oh, uh…" Jester grinned nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "Hi Kicker, heh heh…Uh…heh heh…how're you doing, girl?"

"Oh, I'm doing just fine." Kicker told him. "Whatcha doing?"

"Uh…" Jester stammered. "Um…" His eyes started darting around nervously. "I…was…I was looking for something. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. I'm looking for something."

"It wouldn't be my candy, would it?" Kicker crossed her arms. "Because I'll have you know, I moved it."

"No…" Jester blinked. "I…I was…was…I was just looking for a rubber chicken I lost. Yeah, my rubber chicken." Kicker raised a blonde eyebrow.

"A rubber chicken." She repeated in disbelief.

"Yeah!" Jester grinned. "My rubber chicken! I lost it, and I'm trying to find it. I need it for this awesome prank I'm working on."

"OH MY GOD! MY GUN COLLECTION!" A voice was heard screaming. It belonged to a Joe called Gunbarrel. "WHO PAINTED IT PINK? NOW I HAVE TO GIVE THEM TO MY SISTER! AND I LOVE THOSE GUNS!" Kicker shook her head and snickered.

"Nice try, Jester." Kicker smirked.

"D'oh!" Jester grunted. The blonde Joe took the ladder that Jester was on, and gave it a push. "Kicker, no! No!" The ladder fell backwards to the ground, taking a screaming Jester with it. "WaaaaaaaaaOW!" She looked down. "Oh, my butt…" The blonde looked down and shook her head.

"Candy-crazed goof." The blonde sighed. She walked downstairs, towards the living room. Sitting on the couch was a muscular Asian man in civilian clothing, holding a big bowl of popcorn. He was Quick-Kick, a Joe martial artist trained in silent weaponry. He was also Kicker's boyfriend. The two were engaging in one of their favorite activities: watching movies.

"What was that noise?" Quick-Kick blinked at his girlfriend as she sat down on the couch and snuggled up to him.

"Oh nothing, sweetie. Unpause the DVD." Kicker took a handful of popcorn and shoveled it in her mouth.

**The Mess Hall**

"Thanks for helping me out with doing this pumpkin thing, ye guys." Rahne Sinclair grinned. She and the other West Coast Misfits were sitting at a table in the Mess Hall, helping Rahne to carve pumpkins. "I know that yer pumpkins will help break the record."

"Ah, it was no problem." Alison Blaire, the blonde Farrah-haired lightengale codenamed Dazzler, grinned. "Carving up pumpkins is kind of fun." John Proudstar, the powerhouse mutant codenamed Thunderbird, whistled as he picked up a knife. "Uh John, don't you want to sketch something first?"

"Meh." John shrugged. "I'm just gonna carve a face. How hard is that?" Ace frowned.

"Well, sketching allows you to get out the perfect design before you start takin' the knife to it." Ace grinned. John scoffed.

"I know what I'm doing!" John grunted. "I'm not some big dumb muscleheaded grunt!"

"Just making sure you don't end up lookin' like one." Ace shrugged.

"Heh heh." Terrell Mason, the wind-manipulating speedster codenamed Velocity, grinned at his design. It was of a bikini-clad woman making a slam-dunk. "I think this one will get some points toward any individual prizes."

"Why am I nae surprised that ye'd do a design that involved women?" Theresa shook her head.

"Hey, cut me some slack, baby. It's what I love." Terrell grinned. "Hey Wolfgirl, aren't there individual prizes down at this pumpkin thing?"

"I think so." Rahne nodded. "Best Design, Most Original, Biggest Pumpkin, stuff like that."

"Not to mention that this'll count towards the record Malibu's trying to break, as Wolfgirl Rahne said." Ace Starr, the feral mutant codenamed Wildstar, grinned as he sketched a car on a pumpkin.

"And it's great that General Whithalf let Kyle and Toshi out of KP duty so they can help us." Tommy Sharpe grinned.

"Yeah, yeah." Kyle Wildfire, the electrokinetic codenamed Thunderbolt, grunted as he sketched on his pumpkin.

"Indeed." Toshi Yoshida, the plasma-generator codenamed Sunfire, nodded as he sketched a Japanese symbol on the front of his pumpkin.

"What're you gonna put on your pumpkin, Kyle?" Ace blinked. "I'm drawing a car." Kyle looked at the sketch on his pumpkin: A drawing of the logo of the New England Patriots.

"Meh." Kyle shrugged. He then shot a smirk at Toshi. "The Thunderbolt is doing a rendition of Sushi's mother in the buff."

"Why you little-!" Toshi leapt across the table and tackled Kyle. The two young mutants started fighting and cursing each other out.

"Oh, good God…" Ali groaned. "They're at it again."

"Hey, knock it off, ye two!" Theresa Rourke, the Irish screamer codenamed Siryn, snapped.

"Huh." Ace looked at his watch. "Took them long enough to start fighting again. I was getting worried."

"Will those two ever grow up?" Theresa sighed.

"I doubt it." Rictor snickered. "I think they enjoy fighting each other too much."

"Relax, Toshi." Ace chuckled, pointing at Kyle's pumpkin. "He drew the Patriots logo, bro." The Japanese mutant looked up at the pumpkin. Toshi then glared at Kyle.

"Gotcha, ya clown!" Kyle laughed. Toshi grumbled and got up, muttering under his breath.

"Baka razzum-frazzum…" The Japanese mutant grumbled.

"Gullible retard jabroni." Kyle snickered.

"Kyle, ye must really stop baiting Toshi like that." Rahne admonished the Bostonian.

"Why? It's funny. And easy." Kyle smirked. "Besides, he's baited me!"

"_What?_" Toshi snapped, getting up. "I should tear your throat out for that accusation, dog!"

"Will you sit down, shut up, and make your pumpkin, Sunfire?" John grumbled, grabbing Toshi's shoulder and pushing him back down. "Look, my pumpkin rocks." John turned his around with a grin, showing the design.

"Uh, John…" Ali blinked. "The face is upside down." John blinked and looked at the pumpkin.

"D'OH!"

"You could enter it as Abstract Art." Ace grinned.

Well, well, well! Looks like the insanity will continue! Will Jester get the candy? Will the West Coast Misfits make awesome pumpkins? Will Plantman wreck the pumpkin contest? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	4. Random Fun

**Pumpkin Problems**

**Disclaimer: "Holy macaroni!" – Homer Simpson, _The_ _Simpsons_**

Chapter 4: Random Fun!

**West Coast Misfit Manor**

The kitchen was quiet. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. However, the quiet was about to be disturbed. Several tiles in the floor were pushed up and moved to the side. A dark-haired head peeked out.

"Hee hee, hee hee…" Jester giggled evilly to himself. "Man, I am such a genius." The gray flight suit-wearing pilot climbed into the kitchen. "Alright, Kicker said she moved the candy. Now I gotta figure out where she moved it to." The fighter pilot started carefully checking the cupboards. "No…" He checked another cupboard. "No…" He checked a third. "No…" He continued checking cupboards, eventually going to every nook and cranny in the kitchen. "No…no…no…no…no…ah, crud." Jester grunted, closing the last cupboard. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to him, a certain blonde was peeking into the kitchen through the door's keyhole, smirking.

"Heh heh, good luck finding the candy, Jester." Kicker snickered tauntingly, making sure the increasingly flustered pilot didn't hear her. She then looked at the object that she was holding in her hand. "And he's fixing the kitchen floor." She muttered as she put on the rubber mask.

"Bah!" Jester grumbled as he searched the kitchen. "This is stupid. I'll go check the next room." Jester opened the door, and Kicker reared up to her full height, wearing the mask: A scary purple monster.

"_RAHHH-BOOLA-BLAH!_" She crowed.

"**_AIEEEEEEEEEEE!_**" A scared Jester screamed girlishly, jumping back in the hole. A laughing Kicker pulled off her mask.

"Heh heh." She smirked as she walked towards the hole. "You're fixing this!" She called down.

**Bayville**

Duncan Matthews walked down the street of Bayville. He noticed a staggering woman on the sidewalk not too far away from him.

"Oh my God." The blond snickered.

"Uhnh…" The woman was pale, and her clothes were dirty and had some rips in them.

"Heh." Duncan smirked. "She's so drunk."

"Brains…" She mumbled.

"Well, whaddaya know? She thinks she's a zombie." Duncan snickered. "Hey lady! You're a little early for Halloween, ain't ya?" The woman looked at the jock.

"Brains…" She mumbled again, staggering towards him.

"Hey, uh…" Duncan blinked nervously. "Lady, what're you doing?"

"Brains…"

"Lady, get away from me!" Duncan exclaimed.

"Brains!" The woman started staggering faster towards the football player.

"Hey! HEY! What're you doing?!" Duncan started to run.

"Braaaaaaaaains!" The woman started to run after him.

"HELP ME! CRAZY CHICK IS AFTER ME!" Duncan screamed as he ran down the street.

**Malibu, California**

"Hello, kids." Kicker greeted as she walked into the mess hall.

"Hey, Kicker!" The West Coast Misfits greeted in unison.

"Kicker, what do ye think of me jack o' lantern?" Rahne grinned, showing off her jack o' lantern. The hollowed-out pumpkin showed a design of a face.

"That's very nice, Rahne." Kicker complimented.

"My costume is complete!" A voice crowed. The kids saw the red-headed demolitions expert codenamed Firestorm walk in. "What do you think, kids?"

"…What is that, Firestorm?" Kicker blinked.

"Yeah, you look like a big gray brick." Ace agreed. Firestorm was dressed up like a big gray brick with his face, arms, and legs sticking out.

"I'm a block of C4." Firestorm grinned widely. "Get it?"

"It's…very nice, Firestorm." Kicker blinked.

"Huh. Knowing that jabroni, he's made that outfit out of actual C4." Kyle snickered.

"Well…yeah. For realism." Firestorm blinked.

"Oh, great." Terrell groaned. "Don't let that guy near an open flame, otherwise he'll cause the party to go out with a bang!"

"You hear that, Sushi?" Kyle snickered. "You had better keep your flamin' temper in check , or we're all gonna be spread all over Malibu." Toshi glared.

"I shall weld your lips shut one day!" Toshi warned.

"Hey, cool out, bro." Ace put a hand on the Japanese mutant's shoulder.

"Go ahead and try it, you fire-throwing samurai-wannabe!" Kyle snapped as he leapt up from his seat, lightning sparking from his fists.

"Hey, watch the lightning, man!" Rictor waved his hands. "You nearly fried my lantern!"

"You kids making jack o' lanterns?" Firestorm wondered, scratching his head.

"No, we're holding a poker tournament." Kyle cracked.

"Yes, we're making jack o' lanterns." Theresa nodded. "Ye think mine is neat…" She showed off hers, which had a horse on it. "Ye should check out John's."

"Ah, shaddap Blondie." John grumbled, crossing his arms.

"Aw come on, Proudstar." Theresa grinned. "I think it's rather avant-garde o' ye tae have an upside-down face."

"Let me guess, John didn't trace an outline before he started cutting, huh?" Firestorm snickered.

"Oh, shut up." John grumbled, thumping his head on the table.

"Look at it this way Thunderbird, you could always enter it under the Abstract Art section." Firestorm reassured the powerhouse Apache.

"Oh, thanks. That makes me feel a lot better." John grumbled with a groan.

"I did a car." Ace grinned, showing the car on his jack o' lantern. "Ain't it cool? The chicks will love this one."

"No surprise." Terrell snickered. "All Ace thinks about is women."

"Coming from the guy who's pumpkin shows a bikini babe making a slam dunk?" Ace snickered.

"It represents me." Terrell rolled his eyes.

"Yup, that's true." Alison agreed. "Look at mine." She grinned, showing her lantern had on music notes on it.

"Mine's pretty awesome, too." Longshot chuckled, showing his jack o' lantern. His had a skull-and-crossbones.

"Very Jack Sparrow." Kicker complimented.

"Mine is of the Japanese symbol for good luck." Toshi showed his.

"And mine is of a face." Kyle smirked as he showed his lantern. The face of the lantern was of a face that was sticking out its tongue.

"Real mature, Kyle." Theresa rolled her eyes.

"It's my thing." Kyle shrugged.

"And mine is of…well…" Tommy showed his design: French fries.

"You got food on the brain, man." Ace snickered.

"As Kyle said, it's my thing." Tommy grinned.

"Dudes, mine is totally appropriate." Jack's had a silhouette of a witch on her broom.

"Oh, that one _is_ appropriate." Rahne complimented.

"That's a surprise. I thought you'd do a surfboard." Longshot blinked.

"Oh, please." Jack rolled his eyes. "I may be a total surfer dude, but I'm not all just surfing. I'm a well-rounded individual."

"At least he isn't dressing up like an explosive." John added.

"Ha. Ha. Ha." Firestorm frowned, crossing his arms.

"Firestorm, are you _sure_ it's a good idea to make that costume of yours out of _actual_ C4?" Kicker frowned.

"It's for realism!" Firestorm defended. "And, if Cobra attacks, I'll have a convenient supply."

"Knowing you Firestorm, if something bad happens, that costume will cause _more_ problems." Kicker groaned.

"Ah relax, Kicker." Firestorm grinned. "Nothing bad will happen. Now I wanna know what the rest of you kids made on your jack o' lantern…"

Well, well, well! Looks like the kids are having some fun this Halloween! What madness will happen next? Will Firestorm's costume cause disaster? Will anyone else dress up, and if so, as who or what? What designs did the other kids do? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	5. Eggs and Fights!

**Pumpkin Problems**

**Disclaimer: "Are you saying that you're not a cop?"**

Chapter 5: Eggs and Fights!

**Bayville, New York**

Bayville, New York. A town that had become, since the advent of the mutant, a nexus for insanity. Defended by the X-Men (who also saved the world on occasion), Bayville was a town that was rapidly rising in fame. And once again, madness was going to rampage in the town. The Bayville High football team, seemingly on the never-ending recipient of cosmic butt-whupping, was running for their very lives.

"MAMA!"

"SAVE US!"

"HELP US!"

"I WANT MY MOMMY!"

"AAAAAH!" The one in the lead, star player Duncan Matthews, screamed as he ran away. "RUN! RUN, YOU MUTHAS! RUN!" The football team ran for their lives through Bayville's Main Street. Passers-by just watched them run.

"Hey Stan, what was that all about?" An old man sitting on a bench asked another old man sitting beside him.

"I dunno, Jack." The second old man shrugged. "This town has become quite the insane asylum."

"Hey..." The first old man, Jack, blinked. "You hear somethin'?"

"Yeah..." The second old man, Stan, nodded with a frown. "I do...It sounds like...I can't place it."

"Sounds like...groaning..." Jack blinked.

"OH MY GOD!" A blonde woman screamed, pointing in the direction that the football team was running away from. She shook a man who was looking at the magazines on the newsstand. "Walter, look!"

"What?" The man blinked. He looked up and his eyes widened. "Oh my God! Louise, we gotta get out of here!"

A gaggle of zombies were staggering up the street.

**Malibu Base**

Jester, the prank-playing pilot of the Malibu Joes team, muttered frustratingly as he stomped around the Motor Pool.

"This is great." He grumbled. "All that delicious candy, and I cannot get my paws on it!" He moaned as he took a seat in a jeep. He moaned and rubbed his jaw. "Man, my sweet tooth is aching fiercely."

"Then go to the dentist and pull it out." A voice grunted. "Knowing you Jester, it probably is a toothache because of all that candy." Jester looked up.

"Oh." He blinked at the blond crew-cut Malibu Joe codenamed Hardcase. "Hey there, Hardcase. What's up?"

"What's up is that you're in my jeep." Hardcase grunted. "Out. I gotta go get some milk."

"Ooh, milk!" Jester grinned, getting out of the jeep. "Milk does a body good."

"Yeah yeah, get out, you hairbrain.." Hardcase grumbled. He started to inspect the jeep very carefully.

"Why are you inspecting the jeep, man?" Jester scratched his head.

"You were in it. Why do you think?" Hardcase grunted.

"Relax, man." Jester rolled his eyes. "I didn't booby-trap it this time, pal."

"Yeah, you'd better not." Hardcase grumbled as he got into the jeep and drove out of the base.

"Bye-bye!" Jester waved as Hardcase drove away. As he drove away, he passed by a bunch of houses.

"Huh. Sure is quiet." He noted. "Sure will be full of kids in a short while, trick-or-treating and all." A bunch of kids popped out from behind a bush, holding eggs.

"Happy Halloween!" One kid cried out as he and the other kids started throwing eggs at Hardcase's jeep.

"HEY WHAT?!" Hardcase yelled as his jeep got pelted with eggs.

**Downtown Malibu**

"Oh, God!" The guard exclaimed as he ran over to the edge of the building the plant-manipulating supervillain known as Plantman. He looked down, and he noticed that there was a huge hole in the ground, and a crowd had gathered around the hole. "Huh...?"

"Hey Chris, did you see that?" A bearded man asked a bald man.

"Yeah, John. I sure saw that." The bald man responded.

"What happened?" A cop asked the two men.

"This weird green guy fell from the top of that building, and then these huge vines just burst out of the ground, grabbed him, and pulled him underground."

"I think he was commanding them." The bearded man added. "And it looked like he jumped off that building, Chris." He told the bald man.

"Looked like he fell to me, John." The bald man, Chris, argued.

"You didn't see the whole thing, Chris." The bearded man, John, argued back.

"You sayin' I don't know what I see?" Chris snapped.

"No, I'm sayin' you're blind, stupid." John snapped back.

"I saw the fall! I thought he fell!" Chris snapped.

"In _that_ outfit?! I doubt it! He jumped!" John snapped back.

"People in costumes can fall, pal! Like that time you jumped off your mother's roof wearing a red towel!" Chris reminded.

"I was pretending to be Superman, you-!" John punched Chris, and the two of them started to fistfight.

**Elsewhere in Malibu**

The annual Halloween tradition in Malibu, the Halloween Pumpkin Count. The event didn't involve just counting pumpkins in an attempt to break the world record, the pumpkins were also judged by their designs in various categories. The West Coast Misfits and their handlers were looking around at the pumpkins.

"Man, I don't see what the big deal about all of this is." John Proudstar, the Apache powerhouse known as Thunderbird, grunted as he looked at the pumpkins. "It's just a bunch of stupid pumpkins." He sighed.

"Hey there, John." A voice greeted. John turned around, and saw his teammate, Alison Blaire, the blonde mutant lightengale codenamed Dazzler. She smiled at the Apache. "What's up?"

"Meh." The powerhouse mutant shrugged. "I never really saw the big deal in celebrating Halloween.

"Well, Halloween isn't for a while, but it's fun to celebrate early. Some people already have costumes." Ali noticed.

"Well, we don't exactly wear costumes to run around for candy." John smirked. Ali nodded. He then noticed something. "Hey, how come you ain't with Mr. Good Luck Charm?"

"Longshot had to visit Mojoworld." Ali told the Apache mutant. "He had to go and make sure that Mojo was adhereing to his end of the bargain."

"Mojo? Bargain?" John blinked.

"Althea told me about him once." Ali explained. "He's the ruler of this alternate universe that lives on television."

"So, in essence, not much different from this one." John quipped. Ali smiled.

"Oh trust me. Althea told me about Mojoworld. She told me that Mojo took the X-Men and Misfits and used them in his crazy TV shows."

"You know what I am getting tired of?" John frowned. "Reality shows. There's a glut of 'em. They keep coming out with these shows, with dumber and dumber concepts, and it annoys me. It really does. I mean, don't they have _scripted_ TV shows anymore?"

"Oh, and reality shows are one-hundred percent accurate." Ali rolled her eyes.

"Yeah." John sighed. He looked at a pumpkin. "Hey lookit that. That pumpkin has a picture of Jimmy Page on it." Ali looked at the pumpkin.

"Hey, that's neat. I wonder who did that?" She grinned. She noticed that John had turned his head in another direction and scowled. "John? Thunderbird?" She looked in the direction the Apache powerhouse growled in. She noticed a man in a chicken costume standing around in front of a fried chicken restaurant. The blonde girl groaned. "John..."

"That son of a..." John growled, punching his palm with his fist. "He's got a lotta guts..."

"Oh, no..." Ali groaned. "John, don't you think it's time to end this stupid feud with the Chicken Man already?"

"No way!" John growled. "He insulted me!"

"He gave you a coupon that turned out to be expired!" John exclaimed. "Thanks to him, I had to pay three bucks for a bucket of chicken when I could've paid only two!"

"John, it was a stupid coupon! No big deal!" Ali groaned. "John! JOHN! Get back here!" But the Apache was in no mood to listen to the blonde. He stomped towards the Chicken Man.

"Hey, butthead!" John called. The Chicken Man turned around and scowled.

"Not you again!" He grumbled. "I thought you learned your lesson after I locked you in that dumpster and sent you careening off that cliff!"

"You'll have to do better than that to keep me down, Chicken Boy! You owe me a coupon!" John snapped.

"Hey, I had no clue it was expired! You know how small they print those dates? I was given the coupons, and I handed them out! I did my job! So step off, ya nut!" The Chicken Man shoved John.

"Alright, that's it!" John yelled, cocking his fist back.

_**POW!**_

John sent the Chicken Man flying through a glass window of the restaurant. Ali groaned.

"Oh, God...this is going to be another one of those brawls that goes all over town, isn't it?"

Well, well, well! Looks like the insanity shall continue! What madness will happen next? Who will win in the latest fight between John Proudstar and the Chicken Man? Will Plantman ever show up? Who else will get tortured? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	6. Thunderbird's Rampage!

**Pumpkin Problems!**

**Disclaimer: "Holy macaroni!" - Homer Simpson, _The Simpsons_**

Chapter 6: Thunderbird's Rampage!

**A restaurant**

Alex Rayner was a successful local businessman. He owned a convenience store. He was no Bill Gates, but he felt he was well on his way to the good life. He was sitting at a table at the window across from a beautiful blonde woman in a red dress. He had been set up on a blind date, and it seemed to be going well.

"Well, Candy..." Alex spoke, holding up a glass of wine. "I personally believe that the key to a good business is the customers. My dad always told me that if you listen to your customers, you will-!"

**_CRASH!_**

"Oh my God!" The blonde, Candy, screamed as the window exploded, sending glass everywhere.

"Get down!" Alex jumped on her and used his body to protect her from the glass.

"What was that?" Candy screamed.

"I dunno." Alex blinked. He heard a crash. He turned his head, and saw a man in a chicken costume go through the table they were sitting at. He also saw the chicken-clad man get to his feet.

"What's going on here?" Candy blinked. With a war cry, John Proudstar leapt through the window, and he and the Chicken Man started trading punches.

"You owe me a buck, you sonova-!" John growled as he tackled the Chicken Man and knocked him into a wall, fist cocked back. However, the Chicken Man ducked, which caused John's fist to hit the wall.

"I don't owe you jack, boy!" The Chicken Man snapped, shoving John and then slamming him into another table.

"Hey, somebody call the cops!" Candy screamed.

"I got it."Alex pulled his cell phone out of his jacket. Alison Blaire, the mutant singing lightengale known as the Dazzler, ran up to the broken window.

"Oh, John..." Ali sighed. "Why do you keep picking fights with this guy?" Alex looked up at the blonde teenage singer.

"You know those lunatics?" He exclaimed.

"Unfortunately." Ali sighed.

**Elsewhere in town**

Meanwhile, Kyle Wildfire, the electricity-controlling, trash-talking, butt-kicking hero known as the Thunderbolt, was looking at the various pumpkins displayed.

"Hey, cool." Kyle found one that displayed a scary face. "Now _that_ is a jack o' lantern, jabroni."

"Hey, Kyle." Rahne Sinclair, the lycanthropic Scottish mutant codenamed Wolfsbane, walked up to her younger teammate. "What ye looking at?"

"Check out this awesome jack o' lantern." Kyle grinned, pointing at the jack o' lantern.

"Aye, that is spooky-lookin', alright." Rahne chuckled. "Ye want tae know something funny?"

"Yeah, sure." Kyle shrugged.

"Well, one time, back when I was living with the X-Men..." Rahne started.

"Oh God..." Kyle groaned. "Now you're sounding like that Jubilee chick."

"May I finish?" Rahne frowned. Kyle shrugged. "Well, one time, Jubilee decided to rent a whole bunch of horror movies..."

"What? _Attack of the Hair Dryers 7: It Blows On?_" Kyle quipped.

"Anyway, she rented a whole bunch of these horror movies." Rahne continued. "And she invited us girls to come watch 'em with her in a marathon."

"Let me guess." Kyle started to snicker. "A-mmf!"Kyle found himself having a candy bar stuffed in his mouth.

"Eat the candy bar, be quiet, and listen." Rahne grinned. "Anyway, we started watching the movies. It was incredibly scary. Two hilarious things happened. Later on in the marathon, we kept hearing this odd girly screaming along with ours. Well, we discovered that Ray and Roberto had decided to come down and see what was going on, and were watching the movies with us. But that was nae the funniest part."

"What?" Kyle wondered, his speech muffled by the candy bar in his mouth.

"Well..." Rahne smirked. "I decided tae have some fun. When the girls noticed that I had left the room without their noticing, they got worried..."

_Oh, the Thunderbolt knows where this is going..._ Kyle thought.

"Well, I decided tae hide behind the couch in me werewolf form. After I let them worry for a short while, I leapt over the couch and gave them a fright!" The redhaired Scot started laughing. Kyle pulled the candy bar out of his mouth and whistled in an impressed manner.

"Dang, jabroni!" An impressed Kyle whistled. "Remind the Thunderbolt never to get you mad...hey..." He noticed a person walk by.

"What is it, Kyle?" Rahne blinked, cocking her head to the side slightly.

"The Thunderbolt could've sworn he knew that jabroni..." Kyle frowned, narrowing his blue eyes. "Hey, sir..." The man stopped and turned his head slightly.

"Who is that?" Rahne blinked.

"Hey..." Kyle realized something.

"Oh, no! You!" The man widened his eyes at the sight of Kyle, and he started to run off.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE!" Kyle exclaimed as he chased after the man. "I know you! Get back here! You owe the Thunderbolt money!" Rahne watched in astonishment as Kyle pursued the man. The Scottish redhead sighed.

"What did his parents do tae him?" Rahne groaned. A ringing was heard from her jeans pocket. The redhead reached in and pulled out her cell phone. "Hello!"

"Rahne!" Theresa Rourke's voice was heard on the other end.

"Oh hey Terry." Rahne smiled. "What's going on?"

"They're announcing the pumpkin count!" Theresa announced. "Find the others!"

"Okay, I'm on it!" Rahne nodded. She closed up her phone and put it away. "Now I gotta get Kyle." She transformed into her wolf form and raced off in Kyle's direction.

**A bar**

A local sports bar in town was playing a football game, and the patrons were watching it on various screens put up throughout the bar.

"Man, this game is getting good." One patron grinned.

"Oh, yeah." Another patron agreed. He noticed something on the screen. "Oh, look! Randall's going for the field goal!"

"If he gets to the end, they got the game!" Patron number 1 grinned hopefully.

"_And Randall's going for the end zone..._" The television announced. "_He's at the 40...the 30..._"

"Come on...come on...you can do it man!" The patrons cheered.

"_The 20...the 10..._" The screen showed one football player just about to tackle the running player. "_5...4...3...2..._"

_**CRASH!**_

John Proudstar and the Chicken Man crashed through the wall of the bar, still trading punches.

"What in the-?!" The bartender exclaimed. The patrons all leapt up and tried to not get hit by a stray punch.

"Here, try this on, little man!" The Chicken Man picked John up and planted him on the counter, then slid the screaming John down it.

"Whoaaaaaaaa-oaaaaa-OH!" John found himself flying off the counter and hitting the wall headfirst.

"Yeah!" The Chicken Man crowed, doing a victory dance, raising his fists in the air. "Oh yeah! Oh yeah! I am the man! You suck, pal! Yeah!"

"_And it's good, the Raiders take the game!_" The televisions announced.

"Oh, no!" Patron number one exclaimed. "He made us miss the play!"

"I don't believe it!" Patron number two roared in frustration, throwing his hat down onto the ground.

"That Chicken Man made us miss the play!" A third roared, pointing at the Chicken Man.

"Let's get him!" A fourth yelled. The patrons all jumped the Chicken Man and started beating on him.

"Unh..." John held his head as he got up. "What's going on, huh?" He saw the Chicken Man get ganged up on by the bar's patrons. The blinking Apache mutant noticed an empty beer mug on the counter, and he got an idea. John jumped up and grabbed the mug. He got up on the counter and ran down it, until he got to the Chicken Man. He threw the mug, which hit the Chicken Man right in the head. Amazingly, the glass mug didn't break. It just landed on the ground. John then took a leap from the counter and landed on top of the Chicken Man, throwing punches. The bartender got up from his hiding space underneath the counter and witnessed the fight.

"That's it!" He grumbled, pulling out a phone. "I'm calling the cops!"

**Downtown Malibu**

"Ladieeeeees and gentlemen!" The Mayor of Malibu, a balding man with gray hair and glasses announced. "The pumpkins have been counted and tallied up!"

"Oh, this is so exciting!" Alison grinned. She and the other West Coast Misfits, and some of the Malibu Joes were gathered around with the people of Malibu. They were all standing in front of a local courthouse, where a stage and podium was set up, where the mayor was standing.

"I hope they beat the record! That would rock!" Ace whooped.

"Oh yeah! That'd be totally spectacular!" Jack agreed, high-fiving Ace.

"Hey, where's Thunderbird?" Theresa noticed.

"You don't want to know." Ali sighed. She looked up at Firestorm, who was dressed as a brick of C4. "Are you _sure_ you should be wearing that costume?"

"What is the big deal?" Firestorm blinked. "Relax. This costume won't explode."

"Ten bucks says it will." Kyle muttered.

"Please say we broke the record, man!" The Joe Gunbarrel, clad as the Terminator, called at the stage. "I got money on it!"

"And the pumpkin count is..." The mayor looked at a card as a drumroll was heard. "Seven hundred and fifteen thousand, four hundred and eighty-six pumpkins! We broke the record!" Cheers were heard from the crowd.

"Whoopee!" The West Coast Misfits and Malibu Joes whooped.

"Congratulations, Malibu!" The mayor congratulated.

"Yeah, congratulations!" A voice growled sarcastically. "Congratulations, indeed! Congratulations on your little massacre! I hope you all are proud!"

"Who is that?" Rahne blinked. Theresa, however, discovered it. As the mysterious voice talked, the Irish blonde used her sonic powers to help her determine where it came from.

"Under the stage!" Theresa screamed. "Look out!" The stage burst open as huge green vines forced their way through it. In the middle of the formation was the Plantman.

"You are all found guilty of crimes against plantdom!" Plantman yelled.

Well, well, well! Looks like there's going to be a brawl in Malibu! What madness will happen next? Can the West Coast Misfits save the day? Can the Plantman even be stopped? Will Firestorm's costume explode? Will Thunderbird go to jail? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!


	7. More Problems!

**Pumpkin Problems!**

**Disclaimer: "In the interest of fairness..." - Mr. McMahon**

Chapter 7: More Problems!

**Bayville**

"Zombies..." Scott Summers, the mutant optic blaster codenamed Cyclops, grumbled as he blasted several zombies with his concussive eye beams. "It had to be zombies."

"Didn't we go through this once before?" The telekinetic and telepathic Jean Grey frowned in thought as she used her telekinesis to knock a few zombies backwards.

"Yeah, I distinctly remember fighting zombies before." Bobby Drake, the cryokinetic codenamed Iceman, remarked as he fired his ice beams at some zombies. One tried to jump on him, but he got frozen solid for his efforts.

"Yeah! Whooo!" Roberto DaCosta, the Brazilian solar-powered New Mutant codenamed Sunspot, whooped as he punched out zombies left and right, and blasted a few on occasion . "Oh yeah! Come and get me, ya zombie punks! Ha ha! Forget Ash and his double-barreled boomstick, I AM a boomstick!"

"Oh yeah, whoop it up." Ray Crisp, the electrokinetic mutant codenamed Berzerker, grumbled as he blasted a group of zombies with his electricity.

"Ah, you're just jealous because I'm better than you at whuppin' zombie butt!" Roberto smirked as he tore one zombie's arm off and used it to swat the zombie aside.

"You know, if we weren't surrounded by zombies right now, I'd make you eat several thousand volts. See how you like it." Ray grumbled.

"Ha! You don't have the guts!" Roberto challenged.

"Don't push me, man!" Ray warned.

"I'll push whomever I want!" Roberto sniffed. Ray growled.

"Alright, that's it!" Ray grabbed a zombie and threw it and Roberto. The Brazilian mutant scowled and blasted the zombie.

"Oh, you wanna play, huh? Alright, let's play!" Roberto grabbed another zombie and threw it at Ray. The ex-Morlock zapped it before it could fall on him.

"Oh, you wanna do a zombie fight, huh?" Ray grumbled.

"Can you two yahoos stop that for five seconds?!" The southern-born mutant known only as Rogue grumbled as she smacked two zombies' heads together.

"NO!" Ray and Roberto snapped in unison at her. Iceman smirked as he saw a group of zombies charge towards him.

"Hey, zombies! Say hello to my little friends!" Bobby cackled as he jumped out of the way.

"BWAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" A bunch of Jamie clones, wielding baseball bats, cackled as they charged the zombies and started swinging. Tabitha Smith, the energy bomb-making mutant codenamed Boom-Boom, noticed the Jamies whacking the zombies.

"Geez, Drake!" The blonde winced. "What'd you do, make them watch _The Sopranos?_"

"Nah, I didn't need to make Jamie. He loves that show." Bobby shrugged.

"You allowed him to watch that show?" Ororo Munroe, the Kenyan weather-manipulator codenamed Storm, frowned as she blasted several zombies with Arctic winds and lightning.

"No, Craig Starr likes the show." Bobby explained. "He gave Jamie copies of the season DVDs as gifts." Ororo sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I really wish that Darkstar would've considered a more decent gift."

"Meh, he said it was good for him." Tabby grunted. "What?" A zombie jumped on her. "Hey! AGH! Get off!"

"Brains..." The zombie moaned.

"Brains..." Other zombies groaned as they jumped Tabitha.

"AGH! HELP ME! GET OFF! BUSY HANDS!" Tabby tried to fight them off.

"Tabby!" Sam Guthrie, the thermal energy-firing Kentucky mutant codenamed Cannonball, tried to streak to Tabby's rescue.

"Wait, look!" Jamie pointed.

"Hey what?" Bobby blinked. The zombies groaned as they looked over Tabitha.

"Urr?" The zombies groaned, looking Tabby over. One took Tabby's head.

"Hey!" The blonde exclaimed. One zombie put its decaying ear to Tabby's head, and poked it like it was checking a grapefruit for ripeness. He then looked at the other zombies and shook his head.

"Urgh. No brain." The zombie told his comrades.

"...say what?" Tabby blinked in surprise. The zombies dropped her and went on to look for other people. **(1)**

"...What in the name of everything holy did we just witness?" Sam blinked.

"I always knew Tabby was rather light in the brains department." Bobby quipped.

"My brain would give you all indigestion anyway, you decaying dweebs!" An indignant Tabitha snapped at the zombies as they were leaving.

"HELP ME OH PLEASE HELP ME!" A frightened Senator Kelly screamed in the background. "SOMEBODY SAVE ME!" He ran down the street until he fell in an open manhole. "AGH...oh, God...look at these rats...they're huge...and their eyes are glowing OH DEAR GOD AAAAAAAAH!"

**Malibu, California**

A big brawl had broken out in Malibu. The West Coast Misfits and the Malibu Joes were fighting to stop the Plantman. He had turned the stage into a giant tree thanks to his chlorokinetic powers. He was sitting in his tree, watching the West Coast Misfits and the Malibu Joes fight the vines and roots his tree had sprouted. Most of the Malibu Joes didn't bring weapons, so they improvised. **(2)**

"This is great! This is just great!" Rahne Sinclair grumbled as she dodged a wild vine. The Scottish redhead had transformed into her werewolf state, and was trying not to get her furry hide flailed off. "One holiday! Just _one_ holiday without supervillains and/or insanity! Why can't I have that? Is that too much to ask?!"

"Evidently, in this business, it is." Alison Blaire, the blonde lightengale codenamed Dazzler, groaned as she fired lasers at several vines, setting them ablaze and incinerating them. "Times like this, I wish I never agreed to join this bunch!"

"Ah, you know you love it, blondie!" Terrell Mason, the Compton-born speedster/aerokinetic codenamed Velocity grinned as he zipped around the stage. One vine started shooting thorns at the speedster, but he was too quick. "Ha ha! You missed me!"

"Where's Thunderbird?!" Theresa Rourke, the blonde Irish mutant codenamed Siryn, exclaimed as she flew around the stage, which now looked like a large tree. "I tried calling him, but he's nae responding!"

"Maybe that big jabroni decided to skip out on us." Kyle Wildfire, the Boston-born electrokinetic codenamed Thunderbolt, joked as he created several buzzsaw constructs out of electricity. "That big dolt is never around when you need him!"

**Elsewhere in Malibu**

Several police cars had pulled up to the bar where Thunderbird and the Chicken Man were brawling. The cops had come to quell the brawl that had erupted in the bar.

"Gaaaaaaaaaaah!" The Chicken Man screamed as he was being dragged away, wrists handcuffed and arms behind his back. It was taking several cops to restrain the screaming and cursing Chicken Man, as he was jumping up and down and struggling against the cops and the cuffs.

"Come on, boy! Come on! I ain't afraid of you!" The Chicken Man taunted. "Come on! I'll knock your teeth out! I'll smack you, smack your mama for giving birth to you, and then smack your daddy for getting' with your mama, which resulted in you!"

"He does realize that he has the right to remain silent, right?" One of the cops trying to restrain the Chicken Man asked another cop.

"Obviously, he chose to waive that right." The second cop answered.

"Well, I wish he'd just plain shut up!" The first cop grumbled. "His yapping is getting on my nerves." Also being carted out was John Proudstar, the super-athletic powerhouse Apache codenamed Thunderbird. He was being a lot more cooperative than the Chicken Man. Like the Chicken Man, Thunderbird was also cuffed, but he was only grumbling. John Proudstar didn't have any reason to get on the cops' nerves. They were just doing their jobs.

"I thought this was America..." John grumbled under his breath. "I thought this was fraggin' America. Since when did we become part of old Communist Russia? This is stupid..."

"I never thought I'd never meet one of the West Coast Misfits myself." The cop that was ushering Thunderbird away chuckled. "Especially like this."

"Look, this ain't my fault, alright? Chicken Girl started the whole blasted thing." Thunderbird grumbled. Suddenly, his watch beeped.

"Thunderbird! Thunderbird!" The voice of Ace Starr, the LA-born leonine mutant codenamed Wildstar, was heard calling from the phone. "Thunderbird! Where are you, man? We're getting thrown around like ragdolls here!" The cop blinked.

"Emergency?" The cop blinked.

"Ya think?" John groaned. "Look pal, can you just let me go? I got to go help out the guys. You know, superhero stuff. I'm the team's resident powerhouse."

"Wish I could, kid." The cop shook his head. "But unfortunately, we gotta go settle some things down at the station."

"But-!" Thunderbird protested.

"Sorry, kid." The cop apologized again sincerely. "Besides, if you're cooperative, we'll get this settled quickly."

"Oh, man..." John sighed, rolling his eyes. "Fine. But Chicken Boy over there started it."

**Malibu Square**

"Hey, Plantman!" Gunbarrel pointed his rifle at Plantman, talking in an Austrian accent. "Prepare to be terminated!" He fired his rifle, but a vine made him screw up his shot. "Agh!"

"That rifle you had was _real?_" Kicker's jaw dropped.

"Yeah, but it was loaded with rock salt!" Gunbarrel admitted.

"Only you would bring a real rifle to a party!" Kicker, dressed as Xena, complete with black wig, grumbled as she unsheathed her sword. "Ki-YI!" She sliced a root in half.

"Coming from the woman who brings a real sword to a party?" Gunbarrel cracked.

"Heh." Plantman smirked. He got up and held out a couple handfuls of seeds. "Now, my pretties, help the dead get their vengeance!" He pitched the seeds into the air, when they sprouted little "parachutes" and started to fall.

"Look out!" Firestorm warned.

"Look! They are heading towards the jack o' lanterns that are on display!" Sunfire noticed as the seeds started to near the ground. Once the seeds landed, they sprouted and caused the jack o' lanterns to sprout leafy green "bodies", with the lanterns themselves as heads.

"Uh oh..." Kyle blinked. "Anybody getting bad horror movie flashbacks here?"

"Now, my creations! Destroy them!" Plantman cackled.

Well, well, well! Looks like the craziness shall continue! What insanity will happen next? Can the West Coast Misfits and the Malibu Joes save the day? Will Thunderbird get out of the station in time? Will the X-Men be able to stop the zombies? Does Tabitha really have no brain? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!

**(1) – A nod to one of the Simpsons' episodes. In one, Homer gets attacked by zombies, but after checking his head, they leave him alone. It's also a nod to the comic series _Nextwave_. In one issue, a character tries to use his powers to attack the characters mentally, but his powers do not work on Tabitha Smith, because according to him, she had no mind whatsoever.**

**(2) - Chlorokinesis is the ability to control plants.**


	8. Random Scenes and Plot Advancement

**Pumpkin Problems**

**Disclaimer: "That's right Stanley, the eco-terrorists win." - Mr. Garrison, _South Park_**

Chapter 8: Random Scenes and Plot Advancement!

**Avengers Mansion**

Kid Razor, the fearless superhero of Cleveland, was fiddling with an old-fashioned record player. He had to admit, he did miss hanging around the Mansion a little bit. Ever since Jubilee joined up, the Fearless One had decided to concentrate more on his solo career as Cleveland's own superhero/rockstar.

"Okay, why has Razor asked us to be here?" Jen Walters, the teenage Emerald Amazon known as the She-Hulk, blinked.

"I dunno. Something about some discovery he made." Spencer Burton, the blue-armored supersonic speedster known as Sonic Blue, sighed. Both Spencer and Jen were clad in civilian clothes.

"This oughta be good." Jen shrugged.

"Ah, there we go." Razor finished his fiddling. "Jen, Spence, the Kid of Rock has made a shocking discovery!"

"What, the beam of a flashlight can go in one of your ears and come out the other?" Spencer cracked. Razor frowned.

"Heh heh heh, give the guy a prize." Razor cracked back. "Anyway, the Kid of Rock made a shocking discovery today when he went to a club and a DJ played a song." He pulled out a record. "Behold. The record I obtained from the DJ." he put in the record and started playing it. Britney Spears's music started playing. Both Jen and Spencer blinked.

"Razor, that's Britney Spears." Jen pointed at the record.

"Yeah." Razor nodded.

"Razor, I'm sure that you and I agree that anyone with an ounce of taste in music would not listen to that bubblegum drivel." Spencer shook his head. "What's your point?"

"The DJ was scratching it, and this happened." Razor explained. He put his finger on the record, and started making the record play backwards. Suddenly , the music changed to a dark booming voice.

"_I command you, in the name of Mephisto, to spill the blood of the innocent!_" The record boomed. Jen and Spencer's jaws dropped.

"Oh...my...God..." Jen gaped.

"Huh. No wonder she went bonkers." Spencer blinked.

**A hellish alternate dimension**

Mephisto, the ever soul-hungry master of his won Hell-like dimension, was sitting on his throne, looking through some mail.

"Bill...bill...bill...ooh, free shampoo sample! Bill...bill...bill...Now can I get billed for that?! I don't even _use_ that!" He grumbled. A demon scurried into his throne room.

"Sire! Sire! Sire! We got a problem!"

"Can't it wait?!" Mephisto grunted. "I'm busy here!"

"Apologies, sire! We have a problem!" The demon exclaimed. "You know that scheme you had to cause insanity with Britney Spears's music?"

"Yeah..." Mephisto frowned.

"Well...we got found out." The demon winced.

"WHAT?!" Mephisto roared. "HOW?!"

"Well...it wasn't working anyway." The demon sighed. "Nobody was playing the records backwards...and Britney kinda went bonkers. It's been all over the news." Mephisto sighed and rubbed his temples.

"I should've known better than to use a bubblegum act..." The red-skinned demon grumbled. "Okay, uh, let's try a different person. How about Ozzy? He's good."

"Somebody already got him." The demon answered. "Illyana."

"ILLYANA?!" Mephisto's jaw dropped. "Yer kidding!"

"I wish I was, sire." The demon sighed. Mephisto groaned and started banging his head on the throne.

"This is not my century..."

**Bayville Mall**

The Mall of Bayville was under attack. Zombies had invaded the town of Bayville, and they were on the rampage! Mallgoers were running for their very lives.

"RUN! ZOMBIES!" A mallgoer screamed.

"Zombies! Don't let them bite you!"

"Somebody save us!"

"Us?! What about our blasted stuff?!"

"I just bought this stuff!"

"Help us! Save us!"

"God, those zombies need makeovers!" A Bayville High cheerleader noticed. "Look at them! They like, look so...dead." A guy who overheard the cheerleader grabbed her and started shaking her.

"Are you_** high?!**_" The guy exclaimed as he shook her. "Are you stupid, you insane broad?! They _**are**_ dead! A zombie is a corpse that got reanimated!" He then slapped her. "We have to get out of here!" He grabbed her and ran to the entrance.

"Want some chips, homes?" One guy offered a zombie chips. **(1)**

"Somebody kill those things!" A woman screamed.

"WE ALL GONNA DIE!" A crazy street preacher screamed as he ran around the mall's second floor, only to trip and fall down an escalator.

"We gotta call the cops! The Avengers! The Fantastic Four! MY MOTHER!" A nerd exclaimed, clutching a stack of just-bought comic books to his chest. He heard a whistle. "Huh?" The nerd looked up as the whistle grew louder.

_**KA-WHOOM!**_

A streak burst through the roof of the mall, and it hit the ground with another _**KA-WHOOM**_, causing zombies to be scattered. In the center of the crater, stood one Samuel Guthrie, the New Mutant codenamed Cannonball.

"Whoa..." The nerd blinked. "That was cool!"

"Hang on, Cannonball!" The redhaired telepathic telekinetic named Jean Grey hovered in, dressed in her black-and-neon green costume. "Help is on the way!" She created a telekinetic field around herself and the recovering New Mutant.

"Thanks, Jean!" Cannonball waved. A zombie leapt at him. "Aie!"

"Don't worry, I got it!" Jean reassured, telekinetically grabbing the zombie and throwing it aside.

"AHHHHHHH! Help me!" Duncan Matthews screamed as he ran by, ducking flung zombies. "Save me!" Jean kept telekinetically throwing zombies off her left and right. However, she didn't see Duncan. She just grabbed him and threw him aside. "Hey! I'm not a zombieeeeeeeeeeee OW!" Duncan flew face-first into a mall support. He slid down to the ground, moaning. "My nose..."

"Was that Duncan?" Sam blinked. Jean shrugged.

"I can't tell through all this pandemonium."

**The police station**

"Oh, man..." John Proudstar, the Apache super-athlete codenamed Thunderbird, groaned. "The guys are going to kill me when they hear about this. Not to mention the Joes will not be too happy." The Native American mutant sighed and pulled out a harmonica from his back pocket. He started to play it. The Apache mutant was sitting in a holding cell in the police station. The cops were holding him until they could get some things cleared up.

"Hey, keep it down over there!" A voice snapped. John looked up and saw the Chicken Man glaring at him from a cell across from John's. The Apache mutant smirked.

"What's the matter, Mister Fowl-Up?" John smirked. "Can't stand hearing talent?"

"Gimme some talent, and I'll tell you what I think of it." The Chicken Man grumbled.

"Oh, ha ha." John grunted. "I have to be good at something besides throwing a punch."

"Which you can't even do without looking like a little girl." The Chicken Man laughed.

"Heh." John smirked, moving into a more comfortable position. "That's cute. I know a couple girls who could, quite honestly, kick your butt."

"Really?" The Chicken Man rolled his eyes. "And let me guess: They also have beards and steroid problems?"

"Oh, they would _really_ whup ya if they heard that." John snickered. The two heard footsteps.

"Oh, I hope it's the priest and the executioner. I'd love for you to get the chair, you clown!" The Chicken Man snickered.

"Keep talking, loud-beak. Keep talkin'." John grunted. "You should to give people money you owe, you jerk." The Apache mutant looked up at the source of the footsteps. It was a police officer with the keys to the cells.

"Thank you officer." The Chicken Man smirked smugly as he got up and walked to the door of his cell. "I must admit, you gentlemen are doing a fine job." The officer ignored him and looked at John.

"You John Proudstar?" He asked. "The West Coat Misfit codenamed Thunderbird?"

"Yeah, I'm Proudstar." John frowned. "What do you want?" The officer nodded.

"Ah." He started to unlock John's cell. The Chicken Man's jaw dropped.

"Say what?! Hey!" He exclaimed. "Hey! _Hey_! What about me?"

"What _about_ you?" John snickered as he got up. He looked at the officer. "Why the sudden release?"

"Got a call from GI Joe. They say you're needed to help out in the town square, Proudstar. Come with me." The officer waved. John smirked.

"WHAT?!" The Chicken Man's jaw dropped.

"Lead the way, officer." John smirked.

"Hey hey! That's not fair!" The Chicken Man protested angrily, grabbing the bars of his cell. "He started the fight! Look at my eye! He tried to take my head off over a coupon! He had to pay an extra buck and he beat me up for it! He nearly killed me over a buck!"

"Say hi to Big Bubba!" John mocked. The Chicken Man fumed.

"One day, Proudstar! One day!" The Chicken Man snapped. Then he heard hick-like snickering. "Huh?" He turned around and saw Bubba talk towards him.

"You gots a purty mouth..." Bubba snickered.

"No..." The Chicken Man scrunched himself up against the bars of the cell. "No! No! NO! No, man! Don't do it! Stay back! Stay back Bubba! Bubba! Bubba no! Don't! Down Bubba! Bad Bubba! No Bubba! STAY BACK BUBBA I'M A BRAWLER AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Well, well, well! Looks like the plot may hopefully advance! What madness will happen next? Can our heroes stop the Plantman? Will the plot advance? What was with those other scenes? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!

**(1) – A line from this really funny wrestling fic called "Complete Insanity". WWE Superstars on a road trip. Nothing funnier. The line was originally said by the late Eddie Guerrero, who was offering some chips to a zombie.**


	9. Saved Day, Anyone?

**Pumpkin Problems**

**Disclaimer: "Bon-_jourrrrrr,_ yuh cheese-eating surrender monkeys!" - Groundskeeper Willie, _The Simpsons_**

Chapter 9: Saved Day, Anyone?

**Bayville**

"Ohhhhh..." Scott Summers moaned. He and the X-Men trudged into the Xavier Institute. "Oh...man, that was horrible..."

"I am never going outside on Halloween again..." Kitty Pryde moaned.

"It was disgusting..." Jean moaned herself. "All those zombies...decomposing all over the place..."

"Don't. Start." Tabby grumbled.

"You know, Tabby...uh..." Sam tried to reassure. "You should feel lucky that they didn't want to attack you."

"They said I had no brain, Sam!" Tabby exclaimed. "No brain! Can you believe that?"

"What I can't believe is somebody able to convince a zombie that they have no brain." Paige Guthrie rolled her eyes.

"Only in the X-Men, Paige." Piotr chuckled. "Although I wonder why the zombies thought I had no brain."

"Maybe because you blow things up without thinking?" Ray shook his head.

"You want me to stick a time bomb down your pants?" Tabby frowned.

"Maybe she genuinely has no brain." Danielle Moonstar joked with a grin. The blonde energy bomb-maker Clenched her fists and growled.

"Ugh!" She grunted. "I have a brain! I have one I have one I have a brain!"

"Tabby not having a brain. It would explain a great many things." Bobby snickered.

"Bite me, Iceman." Tabitha grumbled.

"No thanks, toots. I don't want to take Cannonball's job." Bobby snickered.

"Since when were you such a smart alec?" Roberto frowned at the brown-haired cryokinetic.

"Thank X23." Bobby shrugged. "She wanted to learn how to play pranks. In exchange, she taught me how to make good sarcastic remarks."

"Speaking of X23, it's been a while since I seen the kid again." Logan remembered. "I hope she's being fed well over there in Malibu."

"Why Logan, I do believe that X23 has brought out a bit of a fatherly streak in you." Storm teased.

"She _is_ my clone, 'Ro." Logan rolled his eyes.

"I hope my greenhouse is okay, myself." The weather-controlling Kenyan remembered. "I hope those zombies didn't damage any of my plants."

"Oh...my...God..." Kitty's jaw dropped as she noticed the mansion. "You guys..."

"_HUH?!_" Scott's jaw dropped.

"What the-?!" Jean blinked.

"What happened to ze mansion?" Kurt blinked. The mansion was in a wrecked state. There were holes in the walls and roof, the windows were blown out, and the lights were out.

"Man, the mansion is a wreck!" Ray blinked.

"Kinda like your uniform." Roberto mocked, motioning to Ray's costume, which was dark blue, with white around the collar, and two gold lightning bolts coming from the shoulders, meeting in the middle of Ray's chest, almost like forming a V. **(1)**

"At least my costume doesn't make me look like a lipstick case!" Ray snapped back, referring to Roberto's new costume. It was a red costume with black gloves and boots, with a chest emblem of an orange-and-yellow sun. It also had a red domino mask. **(2)**

"You wanna know what it's like to have your jaw blasted off your ugly mug in one blow?" Roberto warned, waving his fist in Ray's fist. The electrokinetic ex-Morlock scowled and slapped the fist away.

"You wanna know what 50,000 volts taste like? I can put some mustard on them if you want it!" Ray snapped.

"Bring it on, you little spark-shooting-!" Roberto started to mock.

"Knock it off." Rogue pushed the two apart. "Is the Professor alright? I think he was still in there!"

"I hope so." Storm answered worriedly. She heard moaning coming from within the mansion. "That's the Professor!"

"No, wait." Logan frowned, stopping the weather-manipulator with one arm. "It don't sound right."

"What do you mean?" Scott blinked.

"I don't sound like him." Logan frowned.

"Oh, God..." Kitty blanched. "Like, look!" She pointed ahead in the mansion. A group of zombies were staggering out of a large hole in the mansion's wall. "Eeeeeeeeeek! More zombies!"

"Alright..." Ray grinned, his fists sparking up. "I've been itching to lay some more smackdown on those undead sons-of-!"

"Hey, they're moving pretty quick." Bobby noted. "Since when do zombies move that fast?"

"The way they're moaning, the way they're moving..." A puzzled Jean cocked her head to the side. "It's almost like...they're afraid?"

"Zombies can be afraid?" Rogue blinked.

"Whatever is in there, it spooked those zombies good." Roberto noticed as the zombies staggered by. "They don't even notice us."

"If it can scare a zombie, we must tread very carefully, guys." Scott warned. He then heard something he thought he'd never hear. "Huh?"

"BWAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" A voice cackled. It wounded very familiar.

"Huh?" Scott blinked. "Was that...cackling?"

"Yeah, but who is..." Jean put it together. "You're kidding me."

"What is it, Red?" Tabby blinked. "Lockheed finally cracked?"

"Hey!" Kitty snapped.

"Oh, someone cracked, alright." Jean groaned, putting her head in her hands.

"Oh, man..." Scott moaned. A cackling Professor Xavier leapt through the hole with his hoverchair. He was dressed in fatigues, had a red headband on, and he was carrying a chaingun.

"That's right! You run! You run, you zombie cowards! And stay offa my land! Come and get you some more of my magic chaingun, you undead mothers! BWAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" He rode off after the zombies, leaving a bunch of dumbstruck X-Men.

"He's cracked. He's finally cracked." Jamie shook his head.

"He drank the spiked water, didn't he?" Tabitha deduced.

"This is as funny as the time Beast got drunk on Greek wine." Roberto snickered. "He thought he was King Leonidas!"

**Malibu, California**

The battle was long and difficult. As well as full of peril and danger. And plenty of awesomeness. The West Coast Misfits and the Malibu Joes were fighting the jack o' lantern drones created by the Plantman.

"This...is...stupid!" Theresa Rourke groaned. The blonde Irishwoman flew over the drones, making them scatter with her trademark sonic screams.

"Grrrrr...RAWR!" Rahne Sinclair roared as she leapt on a drone and started mauling it.

"Hi-YA!" Kicker yelled out as she slashed several vine tentacles with a katana.

"I love the smell of blasted tentacles in the morning! Smells like...victory!" Gunbarrel grinned as he blasted several more vines.

"Says the guy blasting them with rock salt." Kicker snorted.

"At least I'm blasting 'em, not slashing at them with an overgrown kitchen knife." Gunbarrel snickered.

"Hey!" An offended Kicker exclaimed. "I'll have you know that this here katana was made for me as a gift by the ninjas!"

"Eh, I think swords are for sissies." Gunbarrel smirked. He knew that would get the blonde's goat.

"Hey, don't make fun of the sword, man." Kicker warned. "One more smart remark about swords from you, and I will cut you up, and you will regret being cut up by me."

"Hey, can you two cut the quarrel? The Thunderbolt would call it a lovers' quarrel, but he don't need Quick-Kick beating the Thunderbolt senseless!" Kyle complained as he struggled with a couple pumpkin monsters. "Geez! How many of these things are there?!"

"Enough to give us plenty of trouble!" Sunfire grumbled as he scorched several monsters with solar plasma and flame. The Plantman watched from his perch.

"Hee hee..." He laughed. "Those humans may have super-powers, but there are too many of my plant-warriors for them to take on! They will be able to defeat some of them, but my pumpkin warriors shall avenge themselves in the end!"

"Yeahhhhh!" Firestorm grinned as he pulled out a flamethrower from the back of his infamous heavily-modifed jeep, the Firerunner. "Hang on, kiddies! I'm gonna roast this joint!"

"Who gave Firestorm a flamethrower?!" Kicker yelled. "You know we have to keep all the flamethrowers locked up around him!" Gunbarrel tried to look innocent. "You bonehead!"

"What?!" Gunbarrel blinked. "You never know! You're a Joe! You know about being prepared for crises!"

"Firestorm with a flamethrower _is_ a crisis!" Kicker snapped.

"RARR!" One jack o' lantern monster roared as it leapt at Firestorm, shooting razor-sharp leaves at the red-haired semi-sane Joe.

"Come and get me!" Firestorm cackled as he blasted the monster with his flamethrower. However, one of the monster's razor-sharp leaves managed to hit Firestorm's flamethrower, causing an explosion.

_**KABOOM!**_

"Firestorm!" Terrell and Alison yelled. Firestorm was alright, but his flamethrower was ruined and his costume...was on fire.

"Heh. Cool." Firestorm grinned. Kicker's jaw dropped.

"Firestorm! Get away from us and get that costume off!" Kicker exclaimed. "You're going to explode!"

"No, I'm not." Firestorm rolled his eyes. "My costume is made of C-4 plastic explosive. It's very stable. It doesn't detonate if it's set on fire. You can shoot it, punch it, kick it, or throw it. It needs heat and pressure to explode. I got heat, but no pressure."

"...You sure, man?" Gunbarrel blinked.

"I'm sure. I know my explosives. I've used 'em my whole life." Firestorm rolled his eyes. "C-4 will only burn away. Without a blasting cap or a detonator, C-4 won't explode. It's designed not to unless you want it to." Kicker looked at the stage.

"I got an idea!" The blonde Joe grinned. "Firestorm, take off that costume. I have an idea."

"What is it, Blondie?" Gunbarrel inquired.

"Firestorm, you got anything that will allow you to detonate that costume?" Kicker asked the quasi-sane red-haired Joe.

"Yeah." The demolitions expert nodded. "I got some blasting caps in the Firerunner, why?"

"Have the kids distract the Plantman, Gunbarrel." Kicker ordered. "Firestorm, I want you to..." She whispered some instructions into the redhead's ear. A police car pulled up to the two Joes and Thunderbird emerged from the back.

"Thank you." John waved at the police car as it drove away.

"John, where have you been?" Kicker frowned.

"Long story." The Apache mutant grumbled.

"The Chicken Man again?" Firestorm guessed with a snicker. John nodded.

"Alright, John. I need you to help the other kids..." She let the powerhouse mutant in her plan. "Let the others know."

"I'm on it." John nodded and raced into the battle, activating his Joe-Com, which transformed his clothes into his Thunderbird costume. "Let's party, you animals!"

"All who can fly, follow me!" Theresa ordered after she was made aware of Kicker's plan. The Irish girl flew high up into the sky, followed by Shiro and Kyle.

"Right behind ya, jabroni!" Kyle hollered. "I'm gonna check that Plantman into the SmackDown hotel!"

"I am right behind you, Siryn!" Shiro confirmed. The Plantman noticed.

"Ah, some challengers." The chlorokinetic snickered as he went up to his feet. "Let them come." Meanwhile, Firestorm had removed his costume, leaving him in a black sweater and jeans, and placed it on the ground. He then placed a blasting cap on the costume.

"Okay!" Firestorm signaled as he ran away. He pulled out a remote. "Watch out! She gonna blow!" Firestorm pressed the button.

_**KABOOM!**_

The costume's C-4 detonated, causing the giant vine construct that Plantman had created to come toppling down like a cut tree.

"TIMBERRRRRRR!" Ace yelled out.

"Huh?" Plantman blinked. "Hey, what-! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!" He screamed as he fell down with the giant vines. He hit the ground and fell unconscious. His mental hold released on the pumpkins, their green leafy bodies decomposed and fell to the ground.

"Whoa..." Terrell looked at the ruined pumpkins.

"I got the feeling that we're never going to be allowed to participate in this again." Alison sighed.

Well, well, well! Looks like the Plantman has been defeated, and Bayville is saved! What insanity will happen next? Will the X-Men catch the crazed Xavier? Will the West Coast Misfits get banned from the Town Square? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!

**(1) – Ray's new costume was inspired by the DC Comics superhero Lightning Lad, a member of the future-based Legion of Super-Heroes.**

**(2) – Roberto wore a red costume in the comics for a while. The sun emblem is from another Legionnaire, Sun Boy. I thought it was appropriate, since Roberto's powers are solar-based.**


	10. One Wild Night!

**Pumpkin Problems**

**Disclaimer: "I said that rabbits eat lettuce!" - Stan Marsh, _South Park_**

Chapter 10: One Crazy Night!

**The Xavier Institute**

"This place is a wreck." Jean sighed as she used her telekinesis to move some rubble aside. The X-Men were repairing the wrecked mansion.

"Another day, another mansion rebuilding." Scott sighed as he flipped over a overturned chair.

"Heh heh, I love this place." Fox grinned as he readjusted some pictures. "It's never dull here."

"Personally Fox, I would love a dull day." Scott sighed.

"You would." Fox snickered. "You're the type of man who could suck the fun out of the room."

"And you are a jerk." Scott reminded. "Not to mention you're a Hellion."

"_Ex-_Hellion, moron." Fox scowled. "I quit, remember?"

"No Fox, I mean you're a hellion, as in a person who causes trouble a lot." Scott sighed.

"Oh yeah..." Fox nodded. "Oh come on, nerdo! Is this about the time that I accidentally dented that trashpile you call a car?"

"You took a sledgehammer to the front fender!" Scott exclaimed.

"Because you ticked me off so bad!" Fox snapped. "You should be glad I didn't take that sledgehammer to your head! I _really_ wanted to take that sledgehammer to your head!"

"You ever try it Fox, and you'll end up missing _your_ head!" Scott warned, his visor lighting up.

"Try it and you're toast, One-Eye!" Fox growled, fists flaring up.

"Hey come on, you guys! Cut it out!" Jesse tried to calm things down.

"Those zombies really wrecked the place. Why did they come here?" Paige frowned as she swept up some broken dishes.

"Why do zombies go anywhere?" Rogue told the blonde Southerner as she pulled a bookshelf. "The never-ending quest for brains."

"You know, that always bothered me about zombie flicks." Ray frowned as he picked up a couple of books and put them back on the shelf.

"What, they require you to think?" Roberto scoffed as he adjusted the tablecloth on the table.

"No, you Brazilian bonehead." Ray scowled. "I was thinking about something that happens in all the zombie flicks."

"What happens in all the zombie flicks, Ray?" Kitty wondered. "I, like, could never sit through one." She shuddered. "Those things are so totally creepy..."

"Ah think now that Ah've seen 'em for real, Ah don't think Ah'll ever be frightened by movie zombies." Rogue commented.

"Anyway, you know how in the movie, there only starts out with like a couple of zombies?" Ray asked.

"Yeah..." Rogue blinked.

"Well, by the end of the movie, practically everybody's a zombie! What's up with that?!" Ray exclaimed.

"Well..." Rogue frowned, scratching her head. "Ah believe it that zombies kill people, and if you die for any reason in a zombie flick, you become a zombie."

"Oh-kay..." Ray blinked.

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" The young heroes heard someone scream. Then they saw an unusual sight: A flock of chickens run by.

"Cluck cluck cluck cluck!"

"What the frick?" Rogue blinked.

"Probably from Sam's room." Ray shrugged. He then heard more screaming.

"DIE YOU ZOMBIE RATS! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Professor Xavier was heard cackling from outside, accompanied by sounds of his chaingun firing.

"Professor! Get back here!" Jean was heard exclaiming. "NO! Don't fire that rocket launcher there!"

_**KABOOM!**_

**Malibu Base**

"Ohhhhhhhh..." The Joe pilot known as Jester moaned. He was lying in a bed in Malibu Base's infirmary. The prank-playing pilot was clutching his stomach. "Ohhhhhh..."

"Man, what is wrong with him?" The Hispanic Joe codenamed Burner inquired from the bed next to Jester's. The red-and-yellow-clad Joe was sitting on the bed, having his arm bandaged by the Malibu Joes' resident doctor, the African-American Joe known as Stretcher.

"It's not as bad as you think." Stretcher chuckled. "He just has a stomachache. A bad one, but he'll recover."

"Ohhhh..." Jester moaned. "Rodney Dangerfield? Is that you?"

"You're not dying, Jester." Stretcher rolled his eyes. "You'll be fine."

"Well, it is that time of year." Burner chuckled. "He must've eaten too much candy. But I thought Kicker hid the candy so he wouldn't get it."

"Thank Dial-Up." Stretcher explained. "She gave him a bowl of candy, and he was foolish enough to eat it all at once."

"...I can't imagine Dial-Up actually doing something that nice for him." Burner shook his head.

"She told me she did it because she knew Jester would eat himself sick." Stretcher shook his head. "She said it was payback for the time that he gave her those flowers."

"Let me guess..." Burner smirked. "They were squirting flowers, right?"

"No, she put them in her bathroom. She discovered that they had a camera inside them that was used to film her in the shower." Stretcher groaned. "Jester claimed that he didn't put the camera in. She didn't believe him."

"Yeah, it don't seem quite like Jester's style to me." Burner frowned. "But then again, he does have that crush on Dial-Up..."

"Stretcher, get Dial-Up in here..." He moaned. "I need her to kiss it better..."

"Her definition of kissing Jester involves her boot across his face." Stretcher snickered.

**Downtown Malibu**

"Oh, man..." Alison Blaire, the blonde lightengale codenamed Dazzler, moaned as she looked at the scene. The ground was littered with smashed pumpkins and charred plants. "Oh, man...look at this mess! The mayor of this city will throw our butts right out of Malibu!"

"Well, look at it this way, Lady Lightbulb." Kyle Wildfire, the young electrokinetic codenamed Thunderbolt snickered. "We saved the day."

"But did we _have_ to wreck the town square?" Ali groaned. "I mean, really? And don't call me Lady Lightbulb!"

"It's called collateral damage, Dazzler." John Proudstar, the Apache powerhouse known as Thunderbird grumbled, dusting himself off.

"And you!" Ali glared at John. "The cops picked you up again!"

"They let me go!" John groaned. "What's the big deal?"

"You had to go and pick a fight with that stupid Chicken Man again!" Ali exclaimed.

"I could've saved some money if it weren't for him!" John grumbled.

"One dollar, man. One lousy dollar." Ace Starr, the cool feral codenamed Wildstar, shook his head with a sigh.

"Still, Ace...it was the principle of the thing." Thunderbird grunted.

"Dude, every time you pick a fight with the Chicken Man, we have to take money out of the 'Xavier's Lawsuit Fund' Jar." Ace sighed.

"Why?" John blinked.

"For bail money, you bonehead." Kyle grunted.

"Why do we even _keep_ that stupid jar, anyway?" John blinked. "It's not like Captain Cueball needs the money."

"Every little bit helps." Kyle snickered. "Besides, it's sort of the fashion to sue Shiny McBald up in Bayville. Why do you think the Thunderbolt didn't want to join the X-Men?"

"I thought it was because you didn't like New York." Ali frowned.

"The Thunderbolt's from Boston, jabroni. New York is our sworn enemy!" Kyle raised a fist in the air.

"Hey Dazzy, you think I'm a troublemaker?" John snickered. "Let's talk about when Thunder-Boy here met Derek Jeter!"

"Oh yeah..." Ali frowned. "You dunked red paint on him!"

"He joined the Yankees! He asked for it!" Kyle grunted. The Mayor of Malibu walked up to the gathered heroes.

"Your Honor, we are so sorry about the damage here." Kicker apologized sincerely. The Mayor shrugged.

"Ah well, at least nobody got hurt." The Mayor shrugged. "And you kids managed to stop that Plantman before he did any real damage." He jerked his thumb over at a couple of green-armored men carting the Plantman into a truck.

"_All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel..._" The dazed Plantman sang as he was carted into an armored truck.

"That's true." Ali nodded.

"Hey, what's with those green goofballs over there?" Kyle blinked.

"Oh, I heard about those guys." Kicker blinked. "They're Guardsmen. Tony Stark created their armors for use in restraining super-villains."

"Huh." Kyle blinked. "Not only is the man funding the real Iron Man, he's now creating his own knock-offs. He's going to make a fortune in action figure sales."

"Come on, kids." Gunbarrel waved. "Let's go home."

**Malibu Base**

"Hey, Mac." Kicker greeted as she and the kids walked in. "Is everything set up?"

"Oh, yeah." A grinning Quick-Kick waved at the living room. The coffee table was full of bowls of various chips and snacks, bottles of various sodas, and a stack of DVDs. "The annual West Coast Misfit Halloween Horror Film Festival is on!"

"Whoo-hoo!" The kids ran to the couches and chairs, trying to grab some food and seats.

"Hey Quick-Kick, did Jester get the candy that I got for trick-or-treating?" Kicker remembered.

"Nah. Dial-Up gave him a bowl of candy to snack on. He's now in the infirmary with a tummyache."

"Serves him right." Kicker snickered. "Let's go watch some movies." She and Quick-Kick joined the kids in movie-watching.

Well, well, well! Looks like another fun adventure comes to an end! What madness will happen down the line? What new villains will our heroes face? Find out soon! This is L1701E saying, thanks for reading!


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